The man who tickled kittens' bottoms

Melbourne Herald Sun, Thursday September 11, 2014

Years ago I worked on the launch of Whiskas Cat Litter. One of my tasks was to write the pack instructions. Following a veterinary report provided by Uncle Ben's, I read that you introduce a kitten to the use of cat litter by setting it on the clay and tickling its bottom with cotton wool. So I wrote this instruction, which went out on a squillion packs to every corner of the land.

All these years since I have never heard a single testament that the method works. It never did for me. So I have lived with a life-long guilt for the generations of kittens whose bottoms I caused to be tormented.

These days the pet market is far more than kitty litter. At $8 billion it figures as a major economic segment. In fact out of seven million households, five million of them hold pets, one of the world's highest pet ownership rates.

In the supermarket the pets have their own aisle, not just pet food but also premium priced pet treats, healthy biscuits, vitamins and oils, medicines and shampoos. I was in a store last week and saw some delicious looking sweets, I thought I might get them for the grandkids till I looked closer. They were doggy treats. Hmm, perhaps not.

If you've ever had a sick dog or cat you'll know all about vets' fees. Some of the costs seem to rival private hospitals, especially if there is a major injury or a disease like cancer. So the insurance industry has produced a range of policies, put them through the scrutiny of their actuaries who have produced complex formulas for pet, age, location, and likelihood of injury or disease. Just like with people only more complicated.

The result is a wide range of policies from the likes of Medibank, RSPCA, Bow Wow Meow and Woolworths. If I had a four year old Australian heeler it would cost me around $750 a year for comprehensive insurance. No wonder psychologists say we regard our pets as members of our families.

They have their clothing ranges (are you ready for your pooch's spring outfit?), social media, beer, and preferred vehicles. Dog owners have particularly eager discussions about which car is best for their pets. Yes, the dog they own does have an effect on the car that is chosen for the family - that has been verified in research.

Pets have always been favoured performers in advertising, from the puppy who runs into the garden with the end of the toilet roll, to the sleek Persian who watches her premium canned food spooned out.

But if you do commercials like these you must have a substantial budget for a lot of spot frequency - because delightful pets can also be terrible vampires. Which means, they can be so adorable and watchable that the product is hardly noticed at all.

It may be that pets can be a marketing angle. I remember six years ago writing about My Dog Café at Station Pier, Port Melbourne. They seem to have gone now but at the time they did a roaring trade among the countless dog walkers along Beaconsfield Parade.

So as always the smart marketer is observant about their customers' preferences, wishes and likes. You always want to give them a bit more than they expect.

If you're a retailer with a business in the right place and time, it might be worth checking out how they feel about their pets.