26 November, 2010

The Will and Kate bombardment has begun

Melbourne Herald Sun, Friday November 26, 2010

Hooray for the royal wedding. I say that not from any monarchist-versus-republican stance, but from an anything-that-helps-our-businesses stance.

And there is no doubt that Will and Kate's nuptials will ring cash registers. In the UK they are already looking forward to a $1 billion boost, and though we are well away from the action, local shoppers will also find ways to join the spending frenzy.

For a start, this will be a godsend for the sellers of new 3D TVs. And this time it's not just sports-mad Dad who will be in the store, his mum will be there too. She will want to see the royal coach trot through her living room, escorted by shiny-armoured horse guards.

The media of course, is feasting on all this greedily, till we fear they will burst. Within hours of the announcement our British newspaper cousin The Sun put out a 12-page supplement. How much can be said about a couple getting engaged?

Wait and see. Now the April 29 date has been announced, expect lots more supplements, TV specials and attempted media tie-ins.

It’s harvest time for all the PR companies, as they try to associate the dullest products with the glamorous event. However the Palace has made it clear that they do not intend to take on any sponsorships - you’ll be relieved that this will not be the Barclays Bank Royal Wedding.

Mind you, the royals were running sponsorship programs long before they were discovered by the big banks and insurance companies. From Schweppes and Twinings to Royal Doulton and Range Rover, the royal warrant puts a stamp of approval on favoured merchandise.

Let's hope they're chipping in to at least give them wholesale rates on the very expensive affair, especially now that the Palace has announced they will pay it themselves.

Of course now that this is a private affair, perhaps they can sell off the TV rights? In Britain it's pretty certain that they will follow tradition and give the coverage to the BBC - but can it be on-sold to the world?

When Prince Charles married Diana, 750 million viewers watched around the world. And then in 1997, Diana's funeral was watched by 2.5 billion people.

Media pundits are predicting that this could be the biggest TV event in history. Now I don't like to be crass, but this has got to be worth a bundle. The Royal Family could come out in profit.

It is certainly good news for Britain's fledgeling coalition government. As they apply the thumbscrews of economic austerity to the nervous population of the British Isles, at least they have something bright and uplifting to look forward to.

The question though is how much gaiety can the government allow even as it is chastising the masses. Expect some heated debates in Westminster over the coming months.

In the meantime, all you avid viewers of The Collectors can look forward to container-loads of goodies heading your way.

The advantage of an eight-year courtship is that every manufacturer of quality porcelain and souvenir tat between Stoke on Trent and Hong Kong has had plenty of time to design their range of goods.

As soon as the announcement was made, they simultaneously pressed their buttons and started churning out floods of the stuff.

So take shelter - here come five months of Will and Kate bombardment.