Melbourne Herald Sun, 20th March 2010
They always call when you're about to eat dinner or your favourite TV show is starting. Now I'm not a nasty person and I don't like being rude to someone who's only doing their job, so sometimes I make the error of answering a question.
"How much are you paying on your telephone bill Mr Beatty?" And then: "We can give the exact same service for $50 cheaper plus a free Nokia XYZ phone - would you like your phone bill to be $50 cheaper?"
Well who's going to say no to that? Next thing you know you are repeating the legal agreement for recording purposes and you have made the switch. Next morning you wake up and recall - what the hell have I done?
If the deal goes through, in a month or two you will compare your new bill with some old ones and find there's no difference - it may be even worse.
Did you just get a bit confused? Well that was quite deliberate - I have only recently discovered that there is a genuine science at work here: confusion marketing. That's now a real phrase in the dictionary. I'm sure they teach courses on it at Harvard.
The point is to get the consumer so confused by varying rates, plans, offers and deals that it becomes near-impossible to make a true comparison between companies.
Banks and credit card companies love the deals. They trumpet their low-rate terms, credit at only two percent interest! Now that will make a difference to your monthly bills. You transfer the debts over. And it's amazing how quickly six months pass, after which the interest jumps to 22 percent.
Electricity and gas companies have now been chopped up into providers and retailers, who all have teams of sales people selling contracts. Wonderful, competition. At one stage I had a sales call almost once a week, each with an irresistible offer that slashed my power bills.
Once or twice, I confess, I did chop and change. But you know what? My power bills kept growing and are higher than ever before.
A new version has appeared in recent years on the Internet. This happened recently to my wife. She found a book on a topic that interested her and bought it on-line. Now all these offers have pages and pages of sales pitch, testimonials, and how great your life will be once you have that book.
What she didn't notice, buried in the spiel, was a line that says: "And you'll become a member of our Philosophy Discussion Group, receiving pages of fascinating information every week." Which went on, "Membership is only $29 a month, automatically deducted from your credit card account, unless you decline the offer within 10 days."
So there's the confusion hook. By ordering the book, she also gave them the right to deduct money for ever. Fortunately she spotted it a few days later and stopped it. Not easy to do, as nowhere on the site was there an "I quit" button.
Of course the masters of confusion marketing are politicians. The easiest way to kill your opponent's policy is not through sophisticated argument. It's by making the issue so muddy and confused that the voters throw their hands up and decide it's all too hard.
It's very difficult to counter-attack. All you can do is get very simplistic yourself and hope you can hit your opponent with a better slogan than the one he is using. Does this all sound very familiar to you?
ray@ebeatty.com
20 March, 2010
The battle of the bank managers
Melbourne Herald Sun, 20th March 2010
Do you have one of the 600 smiling, friendly bank managers from Westpac, or is she the cold, hard-faced cow "Barbara" depicted by the ANZ? As competition between banks hots up, we're now going into the Battle of the Bank Managers.
The problems they are addressing were created by the banks themselves, of course. For more than 20 years they have slashed branches, decimated staff, neglected small business in favour of big-time developers and financial markets.
Those of us struggling to make a quid and pay off huge mortgages have watched as every quarter they announce their billion-dollar profits and then increase interest rates by the Reserve Bank index plus a bit more on top. Then they weep crocodile tears about the growing costs of borrowing, as if we cared.
When they do research on themselves they find - horror! - that the public doesn't like them. A recent survey was made by West Australian mortgage manager Homeloans. They found that the number of Australians who "liked" the four major banks the Commonwealth, Westpac, NAB and ANZ had fallen by 15 per cent between August and the end of last year. In fact, says the survey, less than one in four likes the big banks.
Now such a situation is not only commercially unpleasant - it is also politically dangerous. It means that the Government can do anything it likes to the banks and nary a tear will be shed. There are votes in being nasty to banks.
Hence the spate of new TV commercials with their swarms of smiling bankers.
Anyone in small business knows how impossible it is to develop a relationship with your bank. If your branch has a manager at all (rather than a distant "business centre"), you will try to get to know your manager - you never know when you'll need them. But then one day you'll walk in and find he's been moved to Toowoomba and you have to start with some new 25-year-old.
Well it seems that branch managers are back, at least at Westpac. In their new campaign they confess to having seen the light: "We're bringing back over 600 local bank managers," they declare, and on their web site, sure enough, you can find the name of your branch manager.
The ANZ obviously believes that you think your bank manager cold and intimidating and are happy without one. Hence their "And no Barbara" campaign. It's an interesting marketing ploy - making the virtue out of not matching your opponent's high card.
The NAB have also faced harsh realities. Their new campaign says they will stop robbing you. Or not so much anyway. "More give, less take" is the slogan. We'll believe that when they announce they have halved their profits and given the money back to their customers.
The Commonwealth Bank obviously held their summer seminar at Hogwarts. They now have a benign, smiling bank manager who, with the help of his magical iPad, can conjure up a new house for a girl in a matter of minutes. That's finding the house, buying it and settling the mortgage with the wave of a finger over a computer screen. No wonder his name is the rather familiar sounding Henry Pottson.
For several years St George Bank has cashed in on this bank aversion with a TV commercial set at a barbecue. Our character is asked what work he does. When he confesses "I'm a banker" a sudden hush falls over the gathering and you feel before long there will be a lynch mob. Then he splutters: "With the St George!" and all is well, because they are small, almost not a bank.
Trouble is they are now part of Westpac, so there goes their line of defence and also, presumably, that commercial.
ray@ebeatty.com
Do you have one of the 600 smiling, friendly bank managers from Westpac, or is she the cold, hard-faced cow "Barbara" depicted by the ANZ? As competition between banks hots up, we're now going into the Battle of the Bank Managers.
The problems they are addressing were created by the banks themselves, of course. For more than 20 years they have slashed branches, decimated staff, neglected small business in favour of big-time developers and financial markets.
Those of us struggling to make a quid and pay off huge mortgages have watched as every quarter they announce their billion-dollar profits and then increase interest rates by the Reserve Bank index plus a bit more on top. Then they weep crocodile tears about the growing costs of borrowing, as if we cared.
When they do research on themselves they find - horror! - that the public doesn't like them. A recent survey was made by West Australian mortgage manager Homeloans. They found that the number of Australians who "liked" the four major banks the Commonwealth, Westpac, NAB and ANZ had fallen by 15 per cent between August and the end of last year. In fact, says the survey, less than one in four likes the big banks.
Now such a situation is not only commercially unpleasant - it is also politically dangerous. It means that the Government can do anything it likes to the banks and nary a tear will be shed. There are votes in being nasty to banks.
Hence the spate of new TV commercials with their swarms of smiling bankers.
Anyone in small business knows how impossible it is to develop a relationship with your bank. If your branch has a manager at all (rather than a distant "business centre"), you will try to get to know your manager - you never know when you'll need them. But then one day you'll walk in and find he's been moved to Toowoomba and you have to start with some new 25-year-old.
Well it seems that branch managers are back, at least at Westpac. In their new campaign they confess to having seen the light: "We're bringing back over 600 local bank managers," they declare, and on their web site, sure enough, you can find the name of your branch manager.
The ANZ obviously believes that you think your bank manager cold and intimidating and are happy without one. Hence their "And no Barbara" campaign. It's an interesting marketing ploy - making the virtue out of not matching your opponent's high card.
The NAB have also faced harsh realities. Their new campaign says they will stop robbing you. Or not so much anyway. "More give, less take" is the slogan. We'll believe that when they announce they have halved their profits and given the money back to their customers.
The Commonwealth Bank obviously held their summer seminar at Hogwarts. They now have a benign, smiling bank manager who, with the help of his magical iPad, can conjure up a new house for a girl in a matter of minutes. That's finding the house, buying it and settling the mortgage with the wave of a finger over a computer screen. No wonder his name is the rather familiar sounding Henry Pottson.
For several years St George Bank has cashed in on this bank aversion with a TV commercial set at a barbecue. Our character is asked what work he does. When he confesses "I'm a banker" a sudden hush falls over the gathering and you feel before long there will be a lynch mob. Then he splutters: "With the St George!" and all is well, because they are small, almost not a bank.
Trouble is they are now part of Westpac, so there goes their line of defence and also, presumably, that commercial.
ray@ebeatty.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)