Are typewriters the new diplomatic secret?

Melbourne Herald Sun, Thursday May 1, 2014

My friend phoned out of the blue, "I've been given this good quality manual typewriter - is it worth anything, can I sell it?"

I sucked my teeth in recollection. "It's so long since I had anything to do with them - and I ended up giving mine away, I don't think you'll find a buyer."

Well talk about coincidence: the very next day I opened a news magazine to read: "Typewriters are coming back". It suggested I was wrong, and it's all thanks to Wikileaks.

As you'll remember from earlier columns, I don't put much trust in security systems keeping our secrets safe - and even less in any promises governments make to protect our rights.

Well it seems us doubters aren't alone. Neither does the diplomatic corps. So far at least two memos have come out (leaked of course) telling Russian and Indian missions that any secret transmissions to their governments must not be written on a computer. In other words, dig out the Olivetti and the Imperial, and hammer the message out by hand. From there it will be entered - manually - into the code transmitter.

I wondered if by now all of the world's embassies have their equipment procurers hunting for typewriter factories. In fact it is known that Russia’s Federal Protection Service recently purchased 20 for the Kremlin.

Who are just as paranoid about their secrets as the diplomats? Corporations and companies of course. So unless that last Smith Corona was stored in the cellar, they will be hunting for typewriters too.

Have I uncovered a great business opportunity? Er...alas no. When I searched for facts, I found that our small number of shops that still sell or service typewriters have not been swamped by eager ambassadors.

"Most of our enquiries are for typewriter ribbons," we were told by Brian at Clayton Typewriter. "There are some older people who never got the hang of computers and need their manuals repaired."

"I get a number of enquiries from people who want to buy a new one, but none of the manufacturers do them any more.

"But in Bali, I found a shop full of new machines in their boxes. They are made somewhere in Asia and in Bali they use them in the upcountry villages where they don't have electricity."

He mused: "I should have brought a load back with me, I would have found a market."

Typewriters are not the only old technology finding an audience. Valve amplifiers and vinyl records are also on the comeback trail. A fortnight ago was Record Store Day - a world celebration of the vinyl platter.

Around the country record shops, markets and festive streets celebrated the sound of vinyl, often through valve amplifiers.

One participant, Sam Encel, said "There's a real resurgence for vinyl. In fact some expect turntable sales to exceed CDs in the future."

Ian Harvey, director of Australia's Music Retailers Association explained why: "It's about a record being tactile, it asks you to be more present." You can't touch and feel a streaming compilation.

There's another comeback happening: arithmetic. With two generations brought up on calculators, there are too many kids who can't add up in their heads. Now everywhere there are tutors advertising, if you search Google you will find thousands.

Remembering the blank look of any shop assistant who's lost their calculator, I would call this an urgent revival.