The heroine is overtaken by a fainting spell and falls into the lake, sinking to a watery grave. Suddenly a great splash as the hero, fully clothed, dives in and raises her unconscious body to the surface. It's a key moment in the movie I was watching on DVD at the weekend, and as usual these days it was accompanied by a "making it" documentary that takes you behind the scenes.
The director and his stars remarked how expensive the filming had been. As well as the massive camera crane for the water's-edge shots, they were hit by a long list of health and safety regulations. A couple of weeks in advance they needed laboratory tests of water quality. Four frogmen stood next to the crew in case anyone got into trouble. They had an ambulance on site, with nurse and doctor. The actors wore wetsuits under their costumes, and stunt doubles stood by in case it needed a re-shoot.
My mind drifted back to the Yarra in the 70s and my first solo commercial. We needed a cheap ad for the Toppa Twosome ice cream and could only afford a cameraman, production assistant, two actors and "who's going to direct it?" "You."
The script was basic: couple in a rowing boat, young man falls in, his girlfriend dives after him and pulls him out (these were the days of women's lib), they dry off on the bank, in the sun, eating ice creams. All to the wonderful Smacka Fitzgibbon singing, "Nibble on a Twosome, Toppa Twosome, when you come out with me..." an adaptation of Tiptoe Through the Tulips that Smacka and I wrote on his kitchen table a few nights earlier.
Notice: no ambulance, doctor, nurse, frogmen, stunt doubles or wetsuits. Health and Safety Rules? What for? Ah how the world has changed.
Not that I have anything against making the workplace safer and healthier, far from it, enormous strides have been made. But with the developments a whole process has been added, a machinery that sometimes seems a little... excessive.
Already throughout this election we have seen politicians of all genders and persuasion trying hard to not look like dorks in their hair nets and safety wellies but somehow, try as they might, they do.
There's a fallacy that politicians persuade themselves, that they look more manly in hard hats and orange vests. Nope.
Earlier this year it was discovered that the new health and safety laws had overlooked Australia's overseas super-spooks, ASIS. So it was an offence for our spies to do outside work - like following villains - without their fluoro vests on. Now that's one-up on James Bond's tux.
But for true bureaucratic pettiness you can't beat the Brits. Recent times have seen sack races banned from school sports because children might fall and hurt themselves. Dodgems were forbidden from bumping each other. Remembrance Day poppies had their pins removed - in case someone stuck it into themselves rather than their lapel, presumably.
Again, let me say, it's quite right we have regulations to protect our workplaces. I remember in years past seeing very dangerous machinery - presses, guillotines, power saws and the like - with inadequate protection that would never be allowed today. Quite rightly.
But perhaps we can leave a buffer in there for some common sense. Not like a town in England where after their annual "community day", local workers would bring down the flags and bunting. This was stopped because of health and safety concerns - you wouldn't want someone falling off a ladder. The workers were the local fire brigade.
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