01 May, 2010

You can never beat City Hall - or can you?

Melbourne Herald Sun 1st May, 2010

At the start of my working life, as a cadet reporter, purgatory was weeks and months covering the magistrate’s court. Forget the drama of Law and Order, a petty courtroom is a sleep-inducing atmosphere.

But every few weeks things would liven up when someone would strenuously defend themselves against a speeding charge or parking offence or shoplifting indiscretion. They would roll out well rehearsed arguments, drawings, photographs, medical records sometimes even lawyers to prove their case. And you watched with detached compassion because you knew they didn’t have a snowball in hell’s chance of getting off.

In three years of weekly courts I can count on one hand those who succeeded. It rammed home a lesson to me. As the saying goes, ‘You can’t fight city hall”. Or the magistrates and police, or the tax man. Not unless you’re very persistent and very well heeled.

A Melbourne food importer, Alfred Abbatangelo, learned this the hard way in the Federal Court last month. The attempt to persuade the tax office that Perfetto Mini Ciabatte are bread and not crackers - and therefore free of GST - will cost him an estimated million bucks, not to mention six years of his life plodding through the courts. “No,” was the verdict, “It’s crisp, it snaps, it’s a cracker."

A friend of mine discovered this six years ago. Andre Scibor-Kaminski is a smart IT man who developed a phone directory on CD called DtMS. The one disk had the every phone and every business in Australia, instantly searchable. Groups could be collected, mail-outs organised, reversed searches from a number to a name. It was far superior to anything on offer from Telstra or Sensis today.

But Telstra sued Andre for breach of copyright. The rebuttal was: how can you copyright a number? It’s not an original work of authorship or art. He lost the case, despite some heavyweight legal opinion in his favour. He appealed and lost again and finally after five years the money ran out and the company went into liquidation.

Yes, size does matter. And so do deep pockets. There again, even city hall can’t fight Spring Street. In recent months we have seen Stonnington and Yarra councils battling the Victorian Government against extended clearways on busy shopping streets.

The money hasn’t extended to the millions yet, but certainly hundreds of thousands have gone in advertising, legal fees and lost parking-fine revenue. And you just know that in the end, might shall prevail. Just as it did when the Victorian Government battled the Australian Government over hospitals.

Now you know I don’t like to despair in this column. So there is a chink of light. It is possible to beat city hall, sometimes. Remember Geelong’s sanga-gate.

Forgotten already? It was only a year ago when Mick Van Beek and Peter Anderson were sacked by Geelong Council because they used some left-over asphalt to fill a couple of pot-holes at the Leopold Sportsmans Club. Their bribe for this “theft” was a steak sandwich in the clubroom.

Well this is where you put the media to good use. The story got out and suddenly hundreds of people stormed the city hall, encouraged by the news crews and, it seemed, half the world’s media. Peter and Mick, with his beard and beanie, gained their fifteen minutes of fame in one night.

The Australian Services Union leaped in, closely followed by lawyers and politicians. And finally the council caved in and reinstated the men, city hall was beat.

But don’t expect that to happen next time you get a parking fine and are positive you did not exceed the permitted time. I can tell you right now, you ain’t got a snowball’s.

ray@ebeatty.com

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