Why won't companies talk to their customers?

This week's Marketeer: Herald Sun, 15 May 2010

It started when I discovered that Big Pond were blocking my emails. You see I send regular newsletters to a few hundred of my clients and prospects - as any good business should. But every time my email program sent 20 out, the rest failed.

When I investigated, it turned out that Big Pond, my provider, does not allow you to send out more than about 20 emails every 10 minutes. So I’d have to continually re-start the program, 20 emails at a time.

I called their offices to see if there was any way around this problem - and ended up in Manila, I think. I was politely told, “We cannot change that, it is policy.”

So let’s tackle the policy. “I want to speak with Big Pond Management,” I said. “Sorry sir but you can’t speak to management,” the supervisor replied.

After a couple of hours it was clear that there was no way I could talk to someone in Big Pond about their policy - because their policy is not to talk to customers.

Then I wanted to ask my branch of the NAB about a new cheque book. I plunged into the world of cloying robots: “Thank you for your call” and “To check your balance press 2" and dozens of other menu choices, through voice recognition which could not recognise: “I want to speak to my branch”.

Somehow after five minutes I reached a human. And she found me in a surly mood. I think I scared her into putting me through. The branch conversation was great - the teller knew me, checked my account, arranged for the cheque book. I asked if she could save all this angst and just give me their phone number. “I’m sorry Mr Beatty, we can’t give our number out.” “Why not?” “It’s policy.”

I decided to survey just how many companies refuse to talk to their customers. With Woolworths it took a lot of robot barriers but I finally found a human. No she could not put me through to the marketing manager. Nor to anyone in the management team.

I deliberately did not say I was from the press. I wanted them to think I was a customer who needed to talk to someone in management. I discovered the marketing manager’s name is Lew Dunkeley. Could I speak to him or his secretary? “Sorry sir, policies and procedures do not allow me to put you through.” Why not? “Because you are a customer.”

I tried other companies with varying success. But nowhere could I reach anyone senior - except, actually, Intel. They had a receptionist who put me through to their Melbourne manager.

At Fosters I reached a Brand Communications Manager. What did that mean? “Well it’s mostly PR but from time to time I get customer relations calls from the punters.”

Qantas passed me as far as the marketing manager’s secretary, while Telstra has a “Contact the office of the CEO” email link.

I could go on but these are good examples of what happens when you try to talk with corporate managers. Yes they are busy men and women and can’t be bothered by every Tom or Tammy who wants to bend their ears. But building corporate walls is not an answer.

This lack of contact leaves them just talking to each other up on the 20th floor, and a growth of myths and theories instead of reality. It’s a recipe for big errors and monumental incompetence.

I’ve long thought it would be a good corporate habit for executives to take just one short call a day, at random, from the public ringing in. Just to remind them that customers are real people - and that they would not have a job without them.

Ray@ebeatty.com

The battle of the bank managers

Melbourne Herald Sun, 20th March 2010

Do you have one of the 600 smiling, friendly bank managers from Westpac, or is she the cold, hard-faced cow "Barbara" depicted by the ANZ? As competition between banks hots up, we're now going into the Battle of the Bank Managers.

The problems they are addressing were created by the banks themselves, of course. For more than 20 years they have slashed branches, decimated staff, neglected small business in favour of big-time developers and financial markets.

Those of us struggling to make a quid and pay off huge mortgages have watched as every quarter they announce their billion-dollar profits and then increase interest rates by the Reserve Bank index plus a bit more on top. Then they weep crocodile tears about the growing costs of borrowing, as if we cared.

When they do research on themselves they find - horror! - that the public doesn't like them. A recent survey was made by West Australian mortgage manager Homeloans. They found that the number of Australians who "liked" the four major banks the Commonwealth, Westpac, NAB and ANZ had fallen by 15 per cent between August and the end of last year. In fact, says the survey, less than one in four likes the big banks.

Now such a situation is not only commercially unpleasant - it is also politically dangerous. It means that the Government can do anything it likes to the banks and nary a tear will be shed. There are votes in being nasty to banks.

Hence the spate of new TV commercials with their swarms of smiling bankers.

Anyone in small business knows how impossible it is to develop a relationship with your bank. If your branch has a manager at all (rather than a distant "business centre"), you will try to get to know your manager - you never know when you'll need them. But then one day you'll walk in and find he's been moved to Toowoomba and you have to start with some new 25-year-old.

Well it seems that branch managers are back, at least at Westpac. In their new campaign they confess to having seen the light: "We're bringing back over 600 local bank managers," they declare, and on their web site, sure enough, you can find the name of your branch manager.

The ANZ obviously believes that you think your bank manager cold and intimidating and are happy without one. Hence their "And no Barbara" campaign. It's an interesting marketing ploy - making the virtue out of not matching your opponent's high card.

The NAB have also faced harsh realities. Their new campaign says they will stop robbing you. Or not so much anyway. "More give, less take" is the slogan. We'll believe that when they announce they have halved their profits and given the money back to their customers.

The Commonwealth Bank obviously held their summer seminar at Hogwarts. They now have a benign, smiling bank manager who, with the help of his magical iPad, can conjure up a new house for a girl in a matter of minutes. That's finding the house, buying it and settling the mortgage with the wave of a finger over a computer screen. No wonder his name is the rather familiar sounding Henry Pottson.


For several years St George Bank has cashed in on this bank aversion with a TV commercial set at a barbecue. Our character is asked what work he does. When he confesses "I'm a banker" a sudden hush falls over the gathering and you feel before long there will be a lynch mob. Then he splutters: "With the St George!" and all is well, because they are small, almost not a bank.

Trouble is they are now part of Westpac, so there goes their line of defence and also, presumably, that commercial.

ray@ebeatty.com